The Surprises don't end!!

Isabel is pretty excited about becoming a big sister

14 weeks and waving hello to everyone!!

Where has the past year gone??

Ready for Aunt Cassie's Baby Shower

I cannot believe that we are so quickly approaching my little girls 1st Birthday....Seriously where the hell has the last year gone?!?!?
She is crawling all over the place...Can say Mom, Daddy, Hey, and Come (this last one I think is from listening to us talk to the dogs lol) She can walk while holding on to furniture and I'm positive that it won't be long before she takes her first solo steps...She sleeps through the night....Eats like a champ, so far there isn't anything that she won't eat....and has 8 teeth.
She is a little firecracker with an attitude just like her momma, my poor husband
The last 3 weeks have been rough on the kid. I noticed that she had an odd sounding cough and later a bloody nose so we took her in to the hospital, waiting 4hrs and they sent us home and said she was "fine". My mommy instincts were telling me that they were wrong and she was NOT fine. That night we were getting ready for bed and I heard what sounded like a seal, I grabbed her from her crib and said we are going back to the hospital. We went to a different hospital and just as I thought she had Croup. We have had many nights laying awake holding a coughing little girl, sitting outside in the cold air to open up her breathing, sitting in the bathroom with the shower running..slowly she is getting better and I think by her birthday she should be back to her usual self                                                    

LOVES her apples!!!

Early mornings with Mom

 

As for myself...the PPD is getting so much better, it was hard for me to admit that I needed help and medication but its the best thing I could do for myself and my little Cricket. I need to be healthy and take care of myself so I can take care of her and be the best mom I can be!!

Meeting Santa

 

 

 

THE FACE THE MELTS MY HEART

November Update

We have TEETH!! 2 to be exact, they just popped through on the bottom yesterday and she has been in a much better mood today. She can sit on her own now once you prop her up, but she still can't pull herself to a sitting position, but she is trying hard.

 We had a meeting with the infant development nurse and even though she isn't concerned with her not crawling or pulling herself up yet, she is going to continue to meet with us every 2 weeks. This is just to help develop these skills through play.

  We have been going to baby massage classes which she TOTALLY loves!! I mean who wouldn't love laying there and being massaged?!?
Yesterday we went and did all our Christmas shopping and we went a small little store called The British Isles Shoppe. They had this adorable little shit that said "Canadian made with Scottish roots" so OBVIOUSLY I had to get that for my little Scottish princess!! While we were there I noticed they had a section with TONS of soccer stuff, so Isabel bought mommy a Liverpool mug for Christmas (ok, so I bought it for myself ... but whatever ) 

 Today was the Santa Clause Parade in my hometown so we went and I think she had a blast (once she woke up lol)

Girl and her Dog

Sitting on her own

Waiting for the parade to start

She spotted some BIG doggies

With Mommy

Mommy and Daddy

MY PRINCESS!!

Our Last 2 Months

Little sisters wedding - Sept 3rd

  The last 3 months have been extremely hard on me. As some of you know I suffered from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia before I ever became pregnant. The minute I knew we were expecting I stopped all medications because I didn't want to take any risks when we had been trying for 9 years.
   I knew that I would be high risk for Post Partum Depression and that I would need to watch for the signs. The first 3 months everything was wonderful, I was getting out lots and enjoying my baby. Slowly towards the end of her 3 month mark things started changing. I was finding reason not to be left home alone with her, I didn't want my husband to leave me for any reason and if he did I would panic the second he walked out the door. This wasn't out of fear that I was going to do anything to harm my baby, nothing like that at all. It was more, i'm going to have a panic attack and then a heart attack while I am here by myself and no one is going to be here to watch Isabel. I recognized the problem fairly quickly, but I admit I did not go see my Dr right away. I kept telling myself you have gone almost 13 months with no medication, you just need to try harder. This wasn't the case, it didn't matter how hard I tried to just get over my feelings it wasn't working and I finally contacted my dr. I was put back on medication and it hasn't been a great road so far but we are working on it.
  Isabel is now close to 7 months old and boy oh boy does she keep us busy....she isn't crawling yet with honestly is a bit of a relief because we can hardly keep up with her rolling, she is never in the same place you left her.....she has an impish little grin that can turn the worst moment into the best part of my day.
  We had alot going on this summer...we had her dedications, lots of family bbq's, her Great Uncle was home from Australia, we spent MANY days at Nanny Debbie's Trailer sitting by the lake having campfires, she was a busy little baby.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the last couple months

Dedication Photo (August - 4months old)

A girl and her Great Grandfather - Love

Mommys little Pumpkin

Happy About Aunt Britts Wedding

My Love

Testing out our new toque before Winter

That Grin!!

Wearing her Wellington Dukes Toque

We have started eating real food

 

 

So all in all things are going pretty good, I'm just going to keep plugging away trying to do my best at this parenting thing (btw its not at all easy!!) We are super excited about Christmas this year and I can't wait to see her ripping into presents and only caring about the boxes...lol

She IS my daughter!!!

She may only be 4 months old...but this little one has some attitude...lol

Let's Celebrate!

Happy Canada Day Everyone

11 weeks old

Isabel Ava Is Here

Isabel Ava

The last few weeks of pregnancy were really rough. I was diagnosed as being anemic, and spent every other day at the hospital hooked up to monitors for Fetal Non Stress Tests to keep an eye on her heartrate. They did a biophysical ultrasound and didn't see her doing any "practice" breathing, which was concerning. I had so much lower back and hip pain that I could barely walk anymore and was in agony every single day. Finally, just 3 days before I hit my 38week mark the Dr said she would
induce me. I had to be at the hospital the next evening to have a balloon inserted into my cervix and filled with water to help speed up dilation, well it worked...the damn thing had fallen out before I even made it back home, meaning I had gone from 0 centimeters to 3 in just a few hours.

I got a phone call at 7am the next morning to be at the hospital for induction at 10am. They started Oxytocin right away as well as my antibiotics, I was having contractions but they were so small that I didn't feel anything at that time. Around 2pm my Dr came in to do an examination at this time she broke my water. Within minutes contractions started getting stronger and closer together and pretty freaking painful..lol it didn't take long for me to say I wanted an epidural. Now the Epidural is a funny thing, it hurts like hell getting it but after its put in and the drugs are working its your best friend!! I went through my entire labour not feeling anything (including my legs). They examined me again and inserted a catheter as well as attaching a couple monitors directly onto my little ones head, so they could monitor her heartrate from inside.

By 10pm I was 8cm dilated and by 11 I was a full 10 and it was time to push!! By this time they had turned the epidural off, so I could feel contractions and know when I needed to push. I pushed for about 1/2 an hour and then had a full on panic attack...I was trying to get off the table, I was crying, and begging for a csection, I thought for sure I was going to die and there was no way that I would be able to get the baby out...but then something happened....I was going to try and take a little breather and just wait out a few contractions to gain some strength back, but when I went to lower my leg I could feel my baby's head...there was no stopping then. I'm not sure where the energy came from but I began pushing again. Little girls heartrate dropped and my Dr said that we need to have this baby NOW. She attached a vacuum to her head and everytime I pushed she was pulling, my mother later informed me that it looked similar to a farmer delivering a calf..lol Thanks mom!. After about 3 of these pushes she told me that I needed to stop. The cord was wrapped twice around little ones neck, so tightly that it needed to be cut right away and couldn't just be slipped over her head.

Welcome to the world baby girl

We finally got baby out and the nurses took her away to do their job.....I couldn't see anything but my mom and Darren could....they said she wasn't moving or crying and they could see the nurses pressing on her belly. After what seemed like hours we finally heard what sounded like a little newborn kitten mewing...it was my baby...the baby I had waited 9 long years for, she was finally here. They brought her right over to me and it was love at first sight...honestly I had no idea it was possible to love someone so deeply. Isabel Ava came into this world April 11th, 2015 at 12:03am weighing 6lbs 14oz and 19inches long

I am proud to say that I didn't yell or scream during birth...I didn't swear at anyone.....I think I made the most noise when it was all over and I was getting my 3 stitches lol

Its been a week now and we are back home and doing fantastic, who needs sleep right??All in all the labour wasn't that bad and I think its all the pains and everything you go through AFTER giving birth that is WAY more painful.

One Week Old

We are in the Homestretch now

We now have just a short 9 weeks and 1 day to go!! Its just amazing, I never thought I would be pregnant and here I am thinking about labour and delivery....which by the way is pretty scary and I wouldn't recommend watching youtube videos, nothing good can come from it LOL. My OBGYN thinks that a vaginal birth would be best for me....BUT, I may not be able to have an epidural because of my size....so we may have to have a little talk...lol

So, what has been happening......hmmm... Back at the beginning of January at 24 weeks pregnant I went to Kingston General Hospital to have my Fetal Anatomy Scan done. Takes about an hour but they measure EVERYTHING Baby is measured from crown to rump, around her middle, around her head — and that's just for starters. The four chambers of the heart are viewed, as well as the kidneys, bladder, stomach, brain, spine and sex organs. Organs, including the umbilical cord, ensures that they are developing normally. They also be look at your amniotic fluid levels, the location of the placenta, and the fetal heart rate. So its a pretty important scan I wasn't going to do it at first, but when I saw just how much they needed to look at I changed my mind. This way if they did find a problem with little baby girl they would be prepared when birth time comes. As usual she was a wiggly little bugger in there and it was hard to get a good picture of her...I think she is waiting until she is here to make her big reveal...we did however get one semi decent picture....and let me tell you, there is no denying that she has MY nose.....I do hope she grows into the "fish lips" though

I was really nervous to find out the results of my scan, I went to see the OBGYN 2 weeks later and it felt like a year....but I had nothing to be worried about, everything was fine. She was about 1 lb more than she should be at that stage, but they said that could even out later on, so not to be concerned.

We have been working like crazy to get the nursery all set up and I think we are just about done, aside from hanging a set of blinds, but of course we have a lot of time because for the first month or 2 she will be sleeping in the bedroom with us in a cradle. Makes for easier night time feedings. We have decided on an owl theme for her room with nice soft pink walls and white furniture. BTW, Nursery furniture costs a FORTUNE. We opted for a 4-1 crib...so it converts from Crib, to toddler bed, to day bed, to a full sized double I believe. Its buying all the conversion kits that really screws with the price, but I was worried that by the time we needed them we wouldn't be able to get them anymore.

 

We've also purchased a baby swing, bouncy chair that vibrates and plays music, a playpen with bassinet. The purchase that I am most excited about is my super duper jogging stroller, comes with an infant car seat that will eventually need to be replaced once she reaches 25lbs but man this is once nice stroller!! It will be prefect for Jogging when we are ready to get back out there as well as going on the trails because the wheels are basically bicycle tires. So as far as big items I think we are pretty much set....just need to stock up on diapers, baby wipes, bottles etc. I will wait until after my baby shower to see what I still need to buy

These last 3 weeks have been absolute hell for me, I have never been this sick in my life. Started as a cold and being pregnant there is nothing I can take for it so it just got worse and worse. I have been to the hospital emergency twice in the last 2 weeks. The first time was because I was having a hard time breathing so they put me on 2 different puffers. Second time was because every time I coughed it felt like someone was stabbing me in the side, turns out I have developed Pleurisy and again nothing they can give me other than over the counter Tylenol. I just have to take it easy..I was worried because the baby wasn't moving as much as she normally does, but they did an ultrasound and she was in there wiggling around and her heart rate was just fine. Dr explained that because my body is so rundown and tired that I am just not noticing her movements.

Now because I am getting close to the end my appointments have gone from once a month to every other week. I will be going next week to see her and then I think she said she would be ordering another ultrasound for around 34 weeks..

I can't wait to meet my little Angel

Only 19 week to go

On Tuesday I went to get a 4D ultrasound done, I just couldn't
wait any longer to find out the sex of little baby Murray. Now, this is one STUBBORN baby!! The ultrasound itself took the good part of an hour and for almost that entire time baby had its bum facing us, cord between the legs and wouldn't stop moving. SOOO, because it was moving so much this is the best shot we could get of the wee one.

Whenever the technician poked or shook my belly to get the precious one to stop using my placenta as a pillow and roll over, I swear to God this baby raised its fist at us......Great, its going to have an attitude like is momma.

HOWEVER, we were able to determine the gender which was the whole reason I went for the ultrasound, best $75 I have ever spent lol

I had my regular appointment with my OBGYN yesterday and the heart beat was 150-155 bpm which is really good. She could also hear the baby moving around with the Doppler machine and told me that I was going to lose weight like crazy once baby was born because I would have my hands full...lol

I have had to resort to maternity jeans, this was hard for me...lol but let me tell you with an expanding belly that is very delicate to any kind of pressure, these are the best jeans I have ever worn in my entire life.. I love them, and wish I could wear them all the time. This picture was about a month ago...bump is significantly larger now. Not to mention the boobs, WTF in 5 months I have gone up 2 full cup sizes and I'm almost thinking its about time to go up one more. I'm going to go broke buying bras !!

Just got a call yesterday and on January 6th I will be going for my Fetal Assessment Scan at Kingston General Hospital. I'm not crazy about having to drive all the way to Kingston to have it done, but Dr tells me that the imagery is much better there. I want them to get the best look possible at the heart, lungs, and all those other important organs, so I will put my big girl panties on and just deal with it.

That's all I've got for now.............................well there is this....

             We are having our baby Isabel.....Isabel Ava Murray

For anyone who doesn't know, Isabel was my grandmothers name and I have always wanted to honour her memory by naming a little girl after her..and now I can!!

Why I haven't been posting!!

As many of you know Husband and I have been trying for a very long time to have a baby (9yrs to be exact). Well, 7wks ago I started having major cramping in my lower back and thought for sure it was my period starting.....wrong.

Looks like there will be a little one entering the world with our DNA (scary I know). If any of you reading this are on my FB you are sworn to absolute secrecy, as I am still very early... 7wks 2days today and we don't want to announce this little miracle until I am past the 3 month mark. I am only posting this on here because I thought it fair that you all know that I haven't given up on the working out.

So, even though I am not very far into this pregnancy it is totally kicking my ass....I am tired all the time (I swear I could sleep all day and still be tired), Morning sickness - not just for mornings, and don't even get me started on boobs...holy hell, Tender my ass...they feel like someone has been using them as punching bags!!

 I went shopping the other day just for the hell of it and found the most amazing onsie you could ever imagine. I almost fell over when I saw it and I snatched it off the rack before anyone else could.
You can bet your ass that when football starts next season my little one (male or female) will be wearing this to support mommy's favorite team.


Baby Murray is expected to make his or her entrance on April 24th 2015

Still Hurting

My back is still really bad, most mornings I have trouble getting out of bed.  Hip hurts, and lower back above my butt but off to the side, not really sure that is in that area but its sore!!! I am going to try walking Monday morning because I am started to get depressed with my lack of mobility, maybe the movement will help

Out of commission

Ready to go

Went for our jog Friday morning around 5am, did my 5 minute warm up walk and a few of 60 second jogs which I'm still doing around 30 seconds of. My hips and legs were bothering me before we even left the house.  I'm not sure if it is was because it was so cold and damp that morning or what, but everything ached. 


 
After a little while my hip was really starting to bother me, so I think I think I was walking funny to                                                           

Ouch!!

try and keep weight off my hip, all of a sudden my ankle just decided that it was going to crap out on me. Anyway long story short, I fell twisted my ankle and as I landed I did something to my back. I got up and sat on the bleacher waiting for Darren to finish. When we finally did get home I put some frozen pineapple chunks on ankle (its the first frozen bag we found in the freezer..lol). So I spent most of Friday just laying on the couch, now its Saturday morning and my back is so sore I can barely walk, I can't even stand up straight. I am guessing the majority of today will be spent in bed with Tylenol close by. I should have listened when I was told to get something to support my ankles, but I was never very good at following directions.

Seems Mr. Murray has been cheating on the dieting front...Found this wrapper when I got into the van. Now I'm not judging or anything, because I think you are doing fantastic....BUUUUT if you are complaining about your miniscule amount of belly fat, then MAYBE just MAYBE you should stick to the diet and lay off the ice cream...or at least have the decency to properly dispose of the evidence!


Darren finished week 2 today and is ready to move on to week 3. He is doing fantastic, kinda pisses me off..lol. He never stops for a break, never

Man Down!!

complains about being in pain (other than the odd backache). He has already lost weight, despite the cheating. We had to go out and get new work out clothes for him because his pants kept falling down while he was jogging. He has been able to put on and do up jeans that didn't fit 2 weeks ago!! Why is it so much easier for men to lose weight than it is for women?? It just isn't fair! I think he is going to start doing some work with weights now because he really wants to build up strength and muscle in his arms (which I also think look great just as they are). Good job Babe...Even if I can't do it on Monday I'll be there in the bleachers watching you. 

 So, I was talking before about how one of my legs was getting smaller than the other and it was looking kind of odd..here is what I was talking about....

 My right leg has slimmed down quite a bit, yet my left leg has either stayed the same or gotten bigger I can't tell..either way it is looking odd..lol. It is my right hip that generally bothers me the most so maybe I'm working harder on that side, I have no idea but I hope things start to even out soon.

Wanna go for a walk?

So it was 5am and I was wide awake...didn't want to clean but felt like I should be doing something productive so I decided to go for a walk at the track. I'm not sure how thrilled Darren was since this is supposed to be our day off, but it wasn't like I was asking him to run or anything..lol 

Yup, I did that!!

I am so glad that I went, I hit a big milestone for myself today...I walked for a total of 1 hour and 57 seconds. My not seem like a big deal to some people but for me this is huge!!.

Big Wuss

My Dear Husband pussed out at 34 minutes and went to sit in the grandstand,
I'd like to think he was cheering me on...but its more likely that he was sleeping, until the rain started.

Finished

I have to say I'm pretty pleased with myself. At around 45 minutes my ass was starting to drag, the rain was starting and I wanted to get finished the last lap and go home....But as I was listening to my iPod a very appropriate song came on and it gave me the determination to continue for another 15 minutes!! This was a song that was very important to me when I was deciding to have weight loss surgery, so I thought it was quite fitting that it just randomly came on when I was ready to give up.

Dogs On Loan

Tiny is ready to go

Darren & Winston

Really don't have much to write about today. We borrowed our friends 2 Great Danes Winston and Tiny because my old boy just tires out too quickly.

Lets do this!

I found out why my feet were hurting me....I wasn't landing properly, I was jogging and landing on my toes. So I paid more attention to my feet today and make sure I was landing properly and, what do you know...my feet don't hurt. I also made sure that I wasn't hunched or leaning forward and made sure that my feet were landing under me. Just those little changes made sure a difference in the way I felt afterwards.

Winston had to take a little stop to bask in the beauty of the morning...Can't say that I blame him, it was a gorgeous morning

1/2 way

I ran a total of 4 minutes and 45 seconds today, I'm pretty damn proud of that. The only thing that was sore today was my knee (just a little) and my back, probably because I was concentrating so hard on staying upright and not leaning forward. As much as I love going to the canal to do our jogging, I think the track is a much better choice for my body.

 

All done!!

Heading home gross and sweaty