Sunday, November 1, 2015

Our Last 2 Months

Little sisters wedding - Sept 3rd
  The last 3 months have been extremely hard on me. As some of you know I suffered from depression, anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia before I ever became pregnant. The minute I knew we were expecting I stopped all medications because I didn't want to take any risks when we had been trying for 9 years.
   I knew that I would be high risk for Post Partum Depression and that I would need to watch for the signs. The first 3 months everything was wonderful, I was getting out lots and enjoying my baby. Slowly towards the end of her 3 month mark things started changing. I was finding reason not to be left home alone with her, I didn't want my husband to leave me for any reason and if he did I would panic the second he walked out the door. This wasn't out of fear that I was going to do anything to harm my baby, nothing like that at all. It was more, i'm going to have a panic attack and then a heart attack while I am here by myself and no one is going to be here to watch Isabel. I recognized the problem fairly quickly, but I admit I did not go see my Dr right away. I kept telling myself you have gone almost 13 months with no medication, you just need to try harder. This wasn't the case, it didn't matter how hard I tried to just get over my feelings it wasn't working and I finally contacted my dr. I was put back on medication and it hasn't been a great road so far but we are working on it.
  Isabel is now close to 7 months old and boy oh boy does she keep us busy....she isn't crawling yet with honestly is a bit of a relief because we can hardly keep up with her rolling, she is never in the same place you left her.....she has an impish little grin that can turn the worst moment into the best part of my day.
  We had alot going on this summer...we had her dedications, lots of family bbq's, her Great Uncle was home from Australia, we spent MANY days at Nanny Debbie's Trailer sitting by the lake having campfires, she was a busy little baby.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from the last couple months

Dedication Photo (August - 4months old)
A girl and her Great Grandfather - Love
Mommys little Pumpkin

Happy About Aunt Britts Wedding

My Love

Testing out our new toque before Winter

That Grin!!

Wearing her Wellington Dukes Toque

We have started eating real food  
So all in all things are going pretty good, I'm just going to keep plugging away trying to do my best at this parenting thing (btw its not at all easy!!) We are super excited about Christmas this year and I can't wait to see her ripping into presents and only caring about the

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