Snack Attack

Tonight I was looking for something to snack on, and I found 2 cans of chick peas in my cupboard but I didn't feel like making hummus so I went searching for an alternative. Let me tell you, WOW, these little buggers are DE-LISH.....give them a try you won't be sorry

Chickpeas are low in fat, a great source of zinc, folate and protein!! They are also very high in dietary fiber and hence a healthy source of carbohydrates for persons with insulin sensitivity or diabetes.

Roasted Chickpeas

1 can Chickpeas
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
1/2 teaspoon Salt
Basil
Parsley
Garlic Powder
(whatever spices you want really)

Rinse and drain chickpeas. Toss with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Spread on a cookie sheet

Bake at 400 for 45-50 minutes. Turning every 15 minutes. Watch them in the last 5 minutes so they don't burn. They turn into a nut-like little treat that is weight loss friendly

Dangerous CURVES Ahead

Today I bit the bullet and joined Curves. This is something I have been wanting to do for some time now.
Last week we went to check out the new YMCA in Trenton, but I was ready to walk out the minute I walked in. It was far too big for me, too many people, machines too close together, too many skinny women and not enough fatties..lol. That same night I went to Curves in Brighton and got a tour there and knew immediately that this was the place for me to join.
I went today and had my consultation, the trainer was amazing and showed me how to use all the machines, and I joined for a year.
It is really a good work out, I was beat after and I didn't even do the full 2 rounds. I'll have to work up to that, considering I haven't done any kind real exercise since College and even then it was just walking to school everyday.
Most of the machines were very easy to use, the only ones I had troubles with were the leg presses because my tummy is big and it was getting in the way. The Squat machine was the other one that I didn't like, they call it the "Beast" lol.
I couldn't get over how friendly the staff as well as the other members were, everyone made me feel very welcome, and man they encourage you. But they don't push you to do more than you can handle which is nice. You don't' have to feel ashamed if you have to quit early.
The lady that was working with me told me that she knows exactly how I feel about anxiety because she suffers from the same thing, she said that she spent months in her house just like I did. Its nice to know that people understand and don't' think you are crazy.
Anyway, I'm very excited about this new part of my journey and I think I'm going to have a blast

On the Road Again

This isn't really a weight related post, but its something i'm very proud of. This past weekend I drove my car for the first time in just over 3 years. Man what a feeling, it was such a rush to finally be behind the wheel again. I was nervous, excited, scared, anxious, I think I experience just about every emotion possible.
I started to not be able to drive when I was having my panic attacks. But then my weight got so out of control that I couldn't fit behind the steering wheel comfortably. Its been months since I was able to get rid of my seat belt extender, but it wasn't until last weekend that I was ready to tackle driving. I even had to move the seat UP!!!. Darren was with me, and I think I confused the hell out of Griffin who was in the back seat and I'm sure wondering why I was in Daddy's seat.
I'm definitely not ready to drive my car by myself, but if I continue to practice with Darren or someone else in the car with me , I'm sure I'll get there eventually

Moody Missy

So in the last few weeks I think my mood swings have improved drastically. ( Darren may have another opinion.lol )
I went to see a psychiatrist and she suggested crushing my medications, thinking that I wasnt absorbing enough of my anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications. I did this for a total of 4 days, of which I spent in bed stoned out of my tree. I decided that the crushing wasn't making anything better, sure I wasn't moody, but I wasn't conscious either.lol
I tweaked my pills on my own, and so far so good. I haven't had any huge melt downs in a couple weeks, so we will see how it goes.
I'm still moody in the sense that I will cry at the drop of a hat, but the anger/rage seems to be under better control.

Update

I went to a Doctors appointment this past week and I have lost another 25 pounds. I can now wear jeans for the first time in about 3 years, and I have gone from a tight 6x top to a nicely fitting 3 or 4x depending on where it is from.
I have a jacket that I bought in May that is a 6x and its is waaaaay to big now. Darren can actually fit in the jacket with me...lol
I have been getting migraines daily around 6-7pm, My doctor thinks its because I'm not getting enough liquids, (still having a hard time with drinking) but she has ordered blood work just in case to make sure all my levels are OK.

I have a couple of recipes to share with you. The first is Iced Tea, I've never made homemade iced tea before this this was amazingly tasty. I just filled a pot with water and boiled, then added 8 decaf tea bags and let it steep on the stove for about 1/2 hour on low heat. Poured that mixture into a pitcher and added the juice of one orange and one lemon. Filled the pitcher up with cold water, added enough splenda just for it to taste perfect. I dont like it too sweet, i want it to still taste like tea. Then I added a sliced up orange and a sliced up lemon. This was so refreshing.

The next is a recipe I found in an old Weight Watchers magazine that I picked up at a thrift store. Its Spice-Oat Muffins, and they were very very good. I substituted Splenda brown sugar for the brown sugar that it called for because I don't do sugar anymore. Darren even liked these :)

Spice Oat Muffins

Ingredients

• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/2 cup cornmeal
• 1/2 cup rolled oat, quick cooking
• 1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
• 3 teaspoons cinnamon sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/4 cups fat-free buttermilk
• 1/2 cup dried cherries (or cranberries, whatever you prefer)
• 1/4 cup fat free egg substitute
• 2 tablespoons canola oil (or vegetable oil)
• 2 tablespoons wheat germ

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

2. Line a 12-cup muffin pan with paper liners.

3. Combine the flour, cornmeal, oats, brown sugar, 1 teaspoon of the cinnamon sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl. Make a well in the center.

4. Combine the buttermilk, cherries (or cranberries), egg substitute and oil in a small bowl, beating with a whisk until blended. Add the buttermilk mixture to the flour mixture, folding with a rubber spatula just until the flour mixture is moistened.

5. Fill the muffin cups evenly with the batter; sprinkle with the remaining 2 teaspoons of cinnamon sugar and the wheat germ (I just love wheat germ, don't you?). Bake until a toothpick intserted into the center comes out clean, about 15 minutes.

6. Cool in the pan 5 minutes. Unmold the muffins and cool completely.

***I had no idea what Cinnamon Sugar was, so i just mixed up some Splenda with Cinnamon. Then for the topping I again did Splenda with Cinnamon and Wheat germ***

An interesting site

Here is something interesting I found for anyone who is considering WLS

http://www.asmbs.org/Newsite07/patients/benefits.htm

What's for Dinner tonight???

Recently, I've been doing a lot of home cooking and I absolutely LOVE it. I;ve made homemade beef barley soup, Ham and split pea soup. Tonight I had some left over bacon in the fridge and was trying to think of how to use it up. I decided on making some mini crustless quiches and they were so yummy they will definitely be made again.

Here is what I did:

I sauteed some onion and celery until almost soft then added about 4 stripes of bacon all chopped up. When the bacon was just about cooked I threw in some mini mushrooms halved.
In a separate bowl I beat up some eggs with parsley, salt & pepper, and garlic powder. Then I shredded about 1/2 fat free cheddar cheese
Spray the muffin tins with Pam, fill the bottom with the bacon mixture, cover with eggs and top with cheese, mix it up a little with a spoon and then bake for 30-45 mins at 350

I can't even describe how tasty these were, and 1 muffin was the perfect serving size for me, Darren at about 4..lol

I served them with some potatoes that i had boiled and then fried up in some olive oil with TONS of spices and onions

New Measurments In

Mom was over today and since I hadn't updated my blog in awhile, we thought it would be a good time to take some measurements. So here they are...they can be compared to the post from August with my original numbers


Neck 17.5

Bust 63

Calf right 17.5
left 18.5

Thigh Right 30
left 29.5

Hips 69.6

Waist 58.5

Bicep right 17
left 18.5

Forearm right 12
Left 12

I also wanted to note that my watch that was tight, I can now spin around my wrist, and I can no longer wear my wedding rings because they fall off..lol

Oops, I forgot some stuff

Sorry about that, I forgot to add this into the previous blog.

The last week, i've been feeling very sick...tired...dizzy...weak...almost a feeling of being high or stoned. The one day I went to lay down at 11am and slept right through until 2pm the next afternoon. Only waking up to use the washroom and to eat something. I thought maybe I wasn't getting enough protien, so i was eating eggs, cheese...etc. Then I got thinking about how much water I'd been drinking and started to add it up. I was drinking far less than i should have been drinking. The thought of drinking water was making me gag and crystal light wasn't helping any. I got some suggestions from fellow Loser's, and the most repeated suggestion was decaf Tea. I've started to drink it and its going down very well and staying down. So i think that is going to be my new beverage for awhile.
So if you don't' want to feel like crap...DRINK YOUR WATER!! and take your vitamins regularly

PMS and 100 pounds

Alright, everyone has been bugging me to update my blog, but I didn't think I really had anything to write about.
As I posted before I had lost a total of 96 pounds since May, well.....I have finally hit the 100 mark, 100 pounds gone forever. How awesome is that??
Also, I have had 2 periods since surgery. These are the first 2 periods I have had since I was 18 yrs old. Let me tell you, the PMS was horrible. I felt like Satan himself had taken over my body. I was moodier than usual, every little thing would set me off and I would cry at the drop of a pin. Poor Darren, I don't think he knew what hit him..lol Thankfully its over....for another month anyway. The only good thing I see about getting my periods now is the whole getting pregnant thing. 11 more months until we can start trying...its gonna be a long 11 months

Off to New York

Leaving early tomorrow morning to go to my 1 month appointment in Utica. I'm excited to see if i've lost any more weight since I weighed myself. Hopefully Dr Graber will be happy with my progress so far.
I'll keep you posted and let you all know how it goes.

I got a recipe from my sisters Bf Farzan last night using Tofu and Thai peanut Satay Sauce, I'm really excited to try making it tonight, i'll post later and let you know how it turned out. I've never in my life tried tofu, so this should be interesting..lol

43 down

My wonderful mother bought me a scale for Christmas and let me have it early so I could start keeping track of my weight loss. So far, i've lost 43 pounds since surgery, and 96 pounds since I started losing weight in May!!!!!
I feel fantastic, I've started going for daily walks with my dogs. Tonight we took a trip to Belleville and went walking at Zwicks.
I found a super alternative to tuna salad with mayo, this one uses cream cheese, its very tasty

1 can tuna
2tbsp fat free cream cheese
1tbsp Mustard
diced veggies (whatever you like, I used carrots and cucumbers)
fresh or dry dill

rinse the tuna under water to get rid of all the extra sodium, mix in the cream cheese and mustard, add the veggies, and some dill, salt and pepper to taste

1/2 cup serving
145 calories
28g protein!!!



Start leaving me comments folks, let me know if you try any of the recipes and how they turn out for you

One Down

Tonight I was bored and decided to dig out some of my clothes that I hadn't been able to wear for awhile to see if i've made any progress. Even though I don't know how many pounds I have lost, I do know that i'm down one pant size!!!! One month...One pant size, and they weren't even stretchy pants...lol they were jeans. I am so proud of myself.
I'm noticing that each and every day i'm getting more and more energy, and I want to be out doing things.



I also wanted to mention something new that i've tried that is super tasty. New Triscuit Parmesan Garlic Thin Crisps. They are 100% whole grain. 10 crackers is a serving...I can only eat 3 or 4 of them at a time. so per one serving of 10 crackers there are 90 calories, 3g Fat, 120 mg sodium, 2g Protein. I've used these with my tuna, but they would taste amazing with Hummus

Week 4

So I started week 4 today, time has been flying by. The new foods I can add are Egg salad/hard boiled eggs, flaky fish, soft cooked veggies, soft fruits, soft pasta, soft beans, hummus, quinoa. These are the foods I can eat for weeks 4, 5 and 6, along with all previous foods.
Last night I made homemade mac and cheese for the first time in my life and it turned out amazing, I used low fat cheese, lactose free milk. Meals should be 1/2 cup from now on
I saw 2 healthier options on Rachael Ray show the other day and thought i would share them with you.


Crispy Chicken Sandwich

• 1/3 cup Fiber One bran cereal (original)
• Dash each salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder, or more to taste
• 1/4 cup fat-free liquid egg substitute (like Egg Beaters Original)
• 3 oz. raw boneless skinless lean chicken breast
• 1 tbsp. fat-free mayonnaise
• 1 small hamburger bun (light, if available)
• 2 slices tomato
• 2 hamburger dill pickle chips
• 1 leaf romaine lettuce

reheat oven to 375 degrees.

Using a blender or food processor, grind Fiber One to a breadcrumb-like consistency. Season the crumbs with as much salt, pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder as you like, and mix well. Place crumbs in one small dish and egg substitute in another.

Sprinkle both sides of the chicken with a dash each of salt and pepper. Then, coat chicken on both sides—first with egg substitute, and then with seasoned crumbs.

Place chicken on a baking sheet sprayed with nonstick spray. Top chicken with a light mist of nonstick spray

Bake in the oven for 10 minutes.

Flip the chicken over, and add another light mist of nonstick spray. Cook for an additional 10–12 minutes, until chicken is fully cooked and coating looks crispy.

Spread half of the mayo on each half of the bun. On the bun bottom, place chicken, tomato, pickles, and lettuce, and then top with the other half of the bun. Enjoy!

Banana Ice Cream Fake out

• 3 bananas, peeled and cut into chunks, frozen
• 1/4 cup milk

n the bowl of a food processor, purée the frozen bananas (adding the milk in small increments as needed to loosen the mixture up) until whipped, about 2 minutes.

Serve the “ice cream” immediately with your favorite toppings.

I can't wait to try both of these recipes, If any of you try them, let me know how they turn out

Week 3

Well its been 3 weeks already, time is flying. I can't really notice if I've lost any weight or not, but everyone else says they can see it in my face, legs and belly. I only notice it on my right leg, I can see my knee again..lol.
I have added some new foods to my menu, now i can have 1/2 a scrambled egg, 1/4 piece of toast, tuna and salmon. The other night I ordered a small chili from Wendy's and it was so yummy. I ate about 1/2 of it and it was only $1.79, I guess I'm gonna be a cheap date from now on.
The swelling in my arm is almost completely gone, and its only a little tender now. I go on Tuesday for my follow up ultrasound and then a Dr's appointment on the 21st.
Darren and I will be heading back to New York on the 30th for my 3 week check up. I'll be able to get weighed then, I can't wait to find out how much I've lost

Update about Yesterday

Ok, so as I said in my earlier post, I thought i had a blood clot because of the swelling..etc in my arm. I went this morning at 11am for an ultrasound. The ultrasound lady said that she wouldn't be able to tell me anything, but once she saw there was a problem she told me because she had to measure a bunch of stuff. I still didn't know if it was a clot or an infection. After my ultra sound they sent me back over to triage to register so i could see the Dr on duty. After waiting for 4 1/2 hours the Dr finally came in and told me what i had been dreading....It is in fact a blood clot. Good news, its in my arm and not my leg, its in a superficial vein and far away from my heart, lungs and brain. For now they have put me back on the Fragmin blood thinner for 2 weeks, after that i have to go for another ultrasound to see if that has helped and then follow up with my family DR. I really hope this round of fragmin will get rid of it, cause the damn stuff is expensive.
I called the surgeon to let them know what was going on, and they didn't seem to concerned, so maybe this is a common thing to happen after surgery. The Dr today said that it was most likely due to my IV being in wrong.
Hmm what else.....OH, I had yogurt today, and it was the best yogurt i have ever had...lol

One Week Out

Hey Guys!! Everyone has been on my butt about updating my blog, so I figured on my one week would be a good time to do it.
The first few days after surgery at the hotel were pretty painful. I had a lot of gas rolling around inside me of me and no way to get it out..lol. But as the days have gone on things have got much more comfortable. I only have a little bit of pain on my left side right now, and its pretty much only when I move around to quickly.
So for the last week I've just been taking it easy. I'm drinking 4 ounces of my Atkins protein shake three times a day (which tastes really good over ice). In between I may have a couple ounces of jello, or a sugar free Popsicle. The first few days if I ate or drank, i would get a really sharp pain between my breasts. I found out that this is where my new stomach (pouch) is located, and that feeling is telling me that i'm FULL..lol I've never experienced a full feeling before. Anyway, after a week i'm not getting that feeling anymore, so maybe my pouch has stretched a bit and is used to the amount of liquids i'm putting in. I wonder if it will come back when i start to add some solid foods.
Tomorrow i get to add Plain yogurt, plain oatmeal, cottage cheese and loose mashed potatoes to my menu. Along with the jello, crystal light, Popsicle...etc..etc. I've never been so excited to have cottage cheese or mashed potatoes in my life. I've been on liquids for going on 11 days now, so having something solid is going to be awesome.
Today my arm was a little bit sore, and then by evening it was really swollen, tender, red, and if you touched it, it was hot. These are symptoms of a blood clot, so I got scared and went to the emergency room. The Dr I saw thinks it may be just an infection from where my iv was, or it possibly could be a blood clot, but he doesn't think so. Anyway, they gave me a prescription for antibiotics. Also for the past 5 days Darren has been giving me injections of a blood thinner called Fragmin, so at the hospital they gave me a bigger dose of it. I am going back in the morning to get a ultrasound of my arm done...I'll let ya know what happens...but for now, i'm tired and cranky, so I'm going to bed..lol

Surgery is over

Praise the Lord, Thank God, Hallelujah and all of those other praises, Surgery is finally over and I couldn't be happier. This post is just going to talk about my surgery ( what I remember) and show some pictures that we took.
So i had to be at the hospital for 6am, surgery was scheduled for 10 am. I was fine waiting, wasn't really scared or anything, more anxious. I got my IV put in and the lady did a horrible job and it had to be done twice and the hole time it was in, it was aching.
Around 9:30 they came to take me into a holding area to wait for the dr to be ready for me. The put a stupid falling hazard thing on my arm because of my knee..lol Dr Graber came out to see if iwas ready to get the show on the road. The rolled me into the room, and blew up the mattress underneath of me and moved me to another bed, this is the very last thing that I remember. Next I woke up in recovery to the sound of the nurse saying "deep breaths, Melissa" over and over again...my breathing was so low that i was setting the alarms off on their machines.
After a few hours in the recovery room they eventually took me to my hotel room. I was sharing a room with a very nice lady, also from Canada. Poor girl, i was so hot that i had the air conditioner on my side turned up so high that she had about 5 or 6 blankets on her.
So, while in the hospital my job was to sip sip sip my water and walk. I would walk down the hall and then come back to my room and sleep. I am actually in quite a bit of pain, and the people who told me that this surgery didn't hurt, are full of crap...lol. I have 7 incisions on my belly and every one of those hurts as well as gas pains, from the gas they shot into me so they could see around. I would give anything to be able to have a big fart right now....lol
Tonight I think i'm going to have some diluted apple juice and jello for dinner....hopefully it stays down

for anyone wondering...fingers crossed, we should be home on Monday

The Numbers Are In

First lets talk about our drive down here. I would have to sit on the seat with my legs hanging out the door, put my good leg in and then lay across the seat and try and get my bad leg in without bending it too much. I'm sure bystanders thought this was a lovely view..oh well..lol My friend Melissa was kind enough to loan me her cane Ted..lol (I'm trying to find him an I Love New York sticker) He definitely made the journey a bit easier with all the walking we had to do to find washrooms. But today my knee was very sore and I decided it would be best if i rented a wheelchair for a couple of days.
OK, here we go the reason for this post. Today I had my pre operative appointments. First was at the hospital to speak with the anesthesiologist. They were super friendly and very informative. The firs thing they did was weigh me....the results....are you ready???.....416!!!! This means I have lost a whopping 50 pounds. This was my pre surgery goal, but I never thought I would be able to reach it...huge pat on the back pour moi.
Next I went to the surgeons office to meet with the nutritionist, to go over my post op diet. She basically told me that the most important thing is to drink drink drink...lots of sugar free liquids.
When we got back to the hotel I took all of my measurements so I can go back and compare once i start losing.

(all are in inches)

Neck - 18

Bust - 68

calf - right- 19
left - 20

Thigh - Right- 30 1/2
Left - 30 1/2
Hip 74

Waist - 64

Bicep - Right - 18
Left - 19

Forearm - Right - 13
Left - 12

I will post new measurements next month to see how I make out.

Surgery is tomorrow at 10am, gotta be at the hospital for 6am so i' m gonna call it a night..bye folks

Someone get me a rocking chair

Have you ever had one of those days where you wake up and every bone and muscle in your body hurts right down to your baby toe???
Well that was me this morning. My knee has been bothering me for awhile now. I had to stop taking my medication for it because of the surgery. So last night it was hurting a bit, i thought I'll sleep it off and be fine in the morning...WRONG.
I went to get out of bed this morning and i couldn't put weight on my right leg. So I thought maybe if i have a hot bath that would help, i shuffled my way into the bathroom, somehow managed to get into the tub. The warm water felt good, but then it was time to get out of the tub...lol I sat there for a few minutes trying to think of the easiest way to get out. I rolled over onto my good knee thinking i would just lift my bad knee over the edge of the tub, and there would be no problem. Well, BIG problem. I was stuck...lol I couldn't lift my sore leg up high enough because it hurt so bad. So here i am stuck in the bathtub with my ass up in the air. I had to call Darren in to lift my leg out of the tub for me, how embarrassing..lol.
After this I took some Tylenol arthritis and tried to go back to sleep, but I was so sore that it was impossible to get comfortable. Darren went to get me some rub for it and some Deep Cold patches (don't waste your money on these, they don't work). My mother suggested that I call my DR to see if they can see me quickly today as we are leaving tomorrow...good idea, except they are on vacation until August 31st. I called all the other Dr's that are in the family of physicians and not one Dr was the their office that day. So I decided that it would be best if i went into the Hospital to see if there was anything they could do for me...cortisone shot..something...anything.
I sat there for 2 freaking hours until I was called to go in. They knew i was there for a sore knee, but they put me in the room at the very end of the hall....a long hall..Anyway, the Dr came in and looked at me, took all of 3 minutes and said there really wasn't anything that he could do because of the surgery, except give me Tylenol 3's with Codine. This I was very OK with, knowing from past experiences with Codine, i know that it makes me high, so if nothing, i will have a very nice sleep tonight.
I am freaking out thinking that they won't do the surgery now, but then i think, they operate on people who are in wheelchairs for crying out loud, so i should be OK.....I'm cool with using a walker after surgery at the hospital to get around. Even if I'm in pain I refuse to let anything stop me from going through with this surgery. So if you see me, and I'm walking like a little old lady, you'll know why lol.

Leaving Tomorrow, gotta say goodbye to my babies

Well, I'm leaving tomorrow and i have to say goodbye to my babies for a week. Griffin is going to be staying with my cousin who so graciously offered to watch him...Thanks Brianna. Murphy is going to stay at the farm with my in-laws and I bet he will love every minute of it, being back there where he can go outside whenever he wants and run!!! Its going to be a rough week, i've never been away from either of my dogs for longer than one night. I'll probably be calling home everyday to check on them..lol Maybe I'll have to buy them a special 'I'm sorry i left you" treat while we are in New York.
I had my last meal last night, and it was the best meal i've ever had..lol. Ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, and carrots. I even had a little piece of a nanaimo bar. Today the Liquid diet starts, bring on the jello, broth, and juice. YUM. As much as i know the next 3 days are going to suck, and i'm probably going to be cranky as hell, I know it will be worth it in the end. You have to do a 3 day liquid diet before surgery like this to shrink the size of your liver so that the Dr can see things better when he is inside you with the scopes.
On top of having to do this liquid diet, my knee is killing me and I can't take anything for it. I had to stop my anti inflammatory last month. I can't walk very well right now because of the pain. Darren is going to pick me up some sort of rub today, hopefully it will work and give me some relief, I need to be mobile so I can start packing..lol

Some good news....My good friend from high school had her first baby yesterday after a very long labor. A little girl named Kylee, weighing 6 pounds 13 ounces. Congratulations Catie and Colin, I can't wait to meet the little one when I get home.

5 Days to go!!!!

So I have 5 days to go until my surgery. We are leaving on Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday will be full of appointments and then Thursday is the big day. I'll be honest with you, i'm scared shitless...lol Don't get me wrong, i'm totally excited, but i'm so afraid of being put to sleep, afraid that something will go wrong. I know its all just in my head, but i can't seem to get my head to shut up.
I've been on a diet since I saw Dr Graber for my consultation 2 months ago, and since then i've lost 35 pounds, ON MY OWN!!. I'm so proud of myself for this.

My life so far

I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I've battled my weight my entire life. I've always been the 'fat friend'. I've had very low self esteem my whole life because of my weight and the way people have treated me. It seems like discrimination against overweight/obese people is socially acceptable. There are so many things that I can't do that "regular" sized people don't even think twice about. For example, riding a roller coaster, going to a restaurant and sitting comfortably in a booth, I love swimming but there is no way i would ever go to the beach and wear a bathing suit..i haven't done that in about 7 yrs, I won't fly anywhere because I'm too embarrassed to ask for a seat belt extender and this really sucks because both of my sisters are Pilots and i've never been in a plane with them. :( I started looking into weight loss surgery about a year ago. I know that this is my last chance at a real life. I am no longer going to let food control me and I am going to take my life back
2 yrs ago when i got married i weighed 290 pounds and I'm 5'7. Shortly after that i had to go on medication for anxiety, depression, panic attacks and agoraphobia. One of the medications they put me on was called Zyprexa and a major side effect is weight gain. In about a year and a half of being on this medication my weight went up to 452. CRAZY!!! It seemed like it happened over night. All of a sudden i was getting out of breath all the time, i couldn't stand for very long, all i wanted to do was sleep because i was so tired. Even rolling over in bed had become a task. I couldn't even shave my own legs, I would have to get Darren to help me. Then i got a really bad rash under my stomach and had to go to the hospital because it wasn't healing and was only getting worse, and I put it off for too long because i was embarrassed. The Dr ordered that a home care nurse come into my house 4 times a week to clean the wound and change my dressings. This was the most humiliating experience for me. This was something that I used to do for other people and having to have it done for me was horrible. So I talked to my Family DR about having a RNY Gastric Bypass and thankfully she was 110% behind me and thought it was a great idea. So the process began. I chose Dr Graber, a surgeon in New York. (weight times in Ontario are far too long).I had no idea i had gained so much weight until I had to get weighed because OHIP needed an accurate weight before they would approve me for out of country surgery. That day was absolutely devastating, 452 pounds how does that happen?? i was pissed at myself, embarrassed, I felt lost, like i had gone to far and there was no way I'd ever find my way back. I spent a few days in bed crying, and then i just told myself that enough is enough, I'd done this to myself and it was up to me to change it. I have tried every diet known to man...lol So, this is my last shot and I'm going to make it work....i have to make it work.
I feel like I'm really prepared for the surgery, and my new life. I can't wait to be able to give away all my fat clothes and go shopping with my skinny sisters...lol I can't wait to be able to start a family, right now i can't get pregnant, my husband and i have been trying for almost 4 yrs.